So you wondering how to write vows. After all, the promises you make to your partner on your wedding day are one of the most important aspects of the entire celebration. If you’ve decided to write your own vows, as opposed to exchanging traditional wedding vows or religious wedding vows, knowing exactly what to say can feel like a big challenge. With insights from some of our favourite wedding experts, we’re taking a look at everything you need to know when writing your own marriage vows. From frequently asked questions to an outline to follow and even real examples you can copy, consider this your ultimate guide to how to write wedding vows you’ll cherish forever.
How to Write Wedding Vows
This is your step-by-step roadmap to how to write your own wedding vows that will be as memorable as they are meaningful. Use this guide on how to structure wedding vows to help you through every part of the writing process, from how to start wedding vows to how to end wedding vows. We’re covering all you need to know about what to include in wedding vows to make writing your own wedding vows a breeze.
- Voice admiration.
When it comes to how to start wedding vows, think about expressing your affection. You’ve gathered your most beloved friends and family to celebrate your marriage—now is the time to get a little sappy and gush about your partner publicly. - Vision cast for the future.
What kind of home do you want to build? What do you want to be true of your lives together as a couple? Paint an image for your partner of the life you can’t wait to build with them at your side. Incorporating vision-casting into your wedding vow structure is a great way to start your new life stage with your partner. - Share stories.
While you want to avoid too many inside jokes (leave those for a private wedding card), picking one or two stories that illustrate your partnership is a good way to add some personality to your vows. Pick ones that wedding guests will be able to resonate with, even if they weren’t present when the events of the story first took place. - Make solid promises.
Life together won’t always be easy and breezy, and your promises should reflect that. As you’re writing your wedding vows, think both about the great heights you want to aspire to with your partner, but also your enduring love that will bind you together in the hard times. Voice the commitments you want to stick to for the rest of your life from your wedding day forward, throughout both the good and the bad. - Connect with the audience and conclude.
Like any good essay or article, you need a section to wrap things up. When it comes to how to end wedding vows, you can use these last few sentences to briefly reiterate the parts of your vows that feel most poignant before neatly tying things up with a bow.
Tips for Writing Vows
When it comes actually sitting down and writing your vows, keep these expert tips for writing vows in mind as a jumping-off point. This expert-backed advice on writing wedding vows will help you craft promises for your soulmate that you absolutely love
Read plenty of examples.
Look to examples, both real and fictional, for inspiration when writing your own wedding vows. That could look like consulting friends and scouring the internet, plus our own favourite vow examples from real couples. But that could also mean watching the marriage scenes from your favourite movies and TV shows to understand what should be written in wedding vows. This will let you see how Hollywood writers wrote vows for your favourite fictional characters.
Agree on a tone and format with your partner.
Before you put pen to paper, make sure you connect with your S.O. about your wedding vow structure. If you’re leaning into a comedic, light-hearted feel for your vows, but your partner had been envisioning sharing more stoic words instead of funny wedding vows, the disconnect between the two vibes might make the wedding ceremony feel slightly disjointed.
Include stories, but avoid embarrassment.
When it comes to humour and jokes, bear in mind that all your loved ones are listening and you ultimately want your vows to feel uplifting. “There’s being funny and then there’s making jokes that distract from or diminish the ceremony,” advises Vows & Speeches co-founder Brian Franklin. The wedding vow expert goes on to say that there is “a fine line, but the first rule should always be to avoid anything negative that could make the other feel sensitive or embarrassed
Practice aloud.
Beyond considering how to write marriage vows, you also need to consider whether you’re prepared to deliver the vows publicly. Like you would prepare for any other public-speaking event, take some time, ideally in front of a mirror or trusted friend, to say your marriage vows aloud ahead of the big day. You don’t want your wedding day to be the first time you’re saying your vows aloud. Nerves will likely be running high on the wedding day, but adequate practice ahead of time is a great way to make sure you don’t trip over your words.
